Christmas time. It’s noisy, materialistic, and socially overwhelming.
Most people plan for it, spend for it, live for it, and dread it all at the same time each year.
In our society, the Christmas ideal is to sit around a heavily bedazzled tree or heftily set dinner table with every member of our family and friendship circles.
But the truth is, many of us don’t meet or fulfill that ideal.
Many of us wind up feeling lonely, isolated, and disillusioned because of our lack of close friendships or family members. And so we spend Christmas alone.
For those of us who have undergone some kind of spiritual awakening or existential crisis, Christmas time can be particularly painful. And that’s what I plan to cover in this article.
Table of contents
Christmas and Spiritual Awakening
Among many of the reasons why we may spend Christmas alone, undergoing a spiritual awakening is one of the top causes.
When we experience a spiritual awakening (and due to the state of the planet, an increasing number of people are), we tend to feel overwhelmed by everything. We begin to question our life choices, what our meaning of life is, and see life in a different light.
This process of life turning on its head tends to make Christmas a particularly difficult and even traumatic time.
We might ask questions such as:
- Why do I need to meet up with people I rarely see during the year for a celebration that is old and outdated?
- What’s the point of pretending that I “like” or “want to spend time with” family members who are toxic?
- I’m not Christian or I don’t believe in the origins of Christmas – why should I then celebrate it?
- How do I stop feeling so depressed and anxious during this time of year?
- Do I even want to celebrate Christmas in the first place?
As a result of the internal process of spiritual transformation occurring, our priorities become clearer and deeper concerns rise to the surface – Christmas becomes a time of dread and depression.
Not only that, but we may not wish to adhere to the same consumerism that is destroying the planet and our souls. Saying no, being true to ourselves, and listening to our integrity becomes anxiety-provoking as we don’t want to go against the status quo in our family of origin. And yet, a part of us craves to break free and live according to our own values. A painful split emerges within us.
Furthermore, society tells us that to be alone (or to spend time Christmas alone) is tragedy that makes us sad and pitiful human beings. Sure, this might not be blatantly taught to us, but it’s an unspoken, subliminal message that we absorb. And it’s utter nonsense.
The Joy of Spending Christmas Alone
Before I get into the joy of spending Christmas alone, let’s explore why we fear aloneness.
First off, being alone is not the same as being lonely. The two are totally different experiences.
To set the record straight: being alone is something we enjoy or choose. Being lonely is something we fear and avoid.
So why the fear of spending Christmas alone?
I believe we fear spending Christmas alone, not just because of the social conditioning that we shouldn’t, but also because very few people know how to be alone anymore.
Why?
Well, when we’re alone, we have to face ourselves, our thoughts, and the irrepressible truth that we are alone, at an ego level. This fear of facing the hard truths of life causes us to fear being alone, and in the process, forget the delights of solitude.
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In our society, it is heretical not only to be alone but heretical to find contentment and fulfillment by ourselves, in ourselves as well.
As writer and solitude-lover Lionel Fisher comments in his book Celebrating Time Alone,
… we’ve been conditioned to press on mindlessly, be part of the norm.
And that norm is to stuff our inner void as full of stimulation and noise as possible.
The fact is that we need to relearn how to be alone. If we ever desire true inner peace, self-knowledge, and happiness – the kind that can only be discovered in solitude – we need to relearn how to be alone. We need to make peace with our aloneness. We need to embrace the power of solitude.
Fortunately, the holiday season is the perfect time to celebrate time alone with yourself. It’s fundamentally an act of self-care. It may be odd and out of the ordinary, but to live up to the standards of a sick, deeply flawed society is misguided.
Below you’ll find a list of just over 50 quirky, challenging, and enjoyable ideas to help you savor Christmas alone (if you choose to).
51 Things to Do Alone on Christmas
Note:
This list was originally written in 2012. While some of the ideas below cater to the playful, silly inner child side within us, others cater to our more serious, adult, and practical inner dimensions. I’m sure you’ll find at least one idea that appeals to you below.
1. Listen to what your inner child needs most from you right now. This inner child test can help.
2. Meditate on the sounds of nature outside.
3. Take a road trip to a place you’ve never been before.
4. Do some therapeutic art to release any tension within you.
5. Compose your own Christmas carol or listen to a new musician/artist you’ve never heard of before.
6. Go for a long walk somewhere you’ve never been.
7. Give yourself the gift of silence. Block out all noises and distractions and do what matters to you the most.
8. Look for the loneliest looking person in town and send them positive energy.
9. Sing your favorite songs loudly in your house and notice how liberated you feel.
10. Sit outside and appreciate nature while drinking calming and mood-boosting teas like passionflower, lavender, or chamomile.
11. Be your own best friend for the entire day. Say kind words to yourself and practice self-love.
12. Consider what skill you’d like to learn in the coming year, and take one step towards making that goal a reality.
13. Get crafty and use old art supplies to create something weird and wild.
14. Do a grounding healing meditation.
15. Pull a tarot or oracle card and do some deep self-reflection.
16. Read the comments below this article, respond to someone, and let them know they’re not alone (spread the good karma!)
17. Spend time outdoors (depending on where you live) and do some gardening.
18. Read a book that will expand your mind, such as The Spiritual Awakening Process or Old Souls (shameless plug for our books, I know, but worth it!)
19. Do a good deed for someone in person or online that will make you feel happy.
20. Spend Christmas researching new hobbies and interests to broaden your mind and world.
21. Do a letting go ritual to release old habits that no longer serve you.
21. Make your own Christmas decorations by hand, and cover your house in them.
22. Build a spiritual altar and fill it with images and found objects that make you feel spiritually connected.
23. Come up with a list of 20 reasons why you shouldn’t celebrate Christmas. What would a rebellious freethinker say about Christmas?
24. Bake yourself something delicious and enjoy mindfully eating it alone in peace.
25. Go to your local park and soak in the sights, smells, and sounds of Christmas day. Feel the happy vibes. Connect with nature.
26. Declutter your surroundings to create more inner space and peacefulness.
27. Have a movie marathon, rewatching movies that were paradigm-shifting to you.
28. Spend quality time with your fur baby if you have one. Alternatively, watch videos of cute animals online to boost your brain’s happy chemicals.
29. Look for local free events that you may find listed online (on places like Facebook) and attend them if you’re feeling social.
30. Read some of our many articles or take some tests on this website. Increase your self-knowledge! Our home page is a great place to start.
31. Open a map of your town, close your eyes, and point to a place on the map. Drive or walk there, and see what you find.
32. Connect with your spirit animal and see what it has to share with you.
33. Light a candle for all the souls who are spending Christmas alone like you, and send up a prayer to whoever or whatever you believe in to offer them comfort. Notice how you feel afterward.
34. Collect items that represent your feelings and thoughts about Christmas Day. Put them in a time capsule box and bury them in your backyard.
35. Research the deeper symbolic significance of Christmas.
36. Learn the art of automatic writing and discover what your deeper Self wants you to know.
$337. Think about what you loved to do as a kid that you don’t do anymore, and do it, e.g., if it was taking bubble baths, take a bubble bath!
38. Make your day more humorous. Watch a comedy, laugh at people and yourself, and look for reasons why the things you take seriously are comedic.
39. Sit and observe people on Christmas day and write a short story about them.
40. Think of every reason why you enjoy being alone for the entire day.
41. Reassess your daily routine and find three alternative ways to do what you normally do. Put them in practice.
42. Be actively lazy and catch up on as much sleep as you can.
43. Spend the day opening, cleansing, and balancing the chakras within your body. This chakra test can help you get started.
44. Find a way of helping others; for instance, offer your hand in a soup kitchen, volunteer to visit the elderly, or do anything that supports others’ well-being.
45. Use the day to achieve something important. For example, write a whole blog post, get to level 22 on your game, solve 50 riddles, etc.
46. Spend the day painting or drawing your impression of Christmas Day.
47. Be eccentric. Weird out the people in your neighborhood by hanging bizarre things off a tree outside your house.
48. Nurture yourself for the whole day. Give yourself hugs, write yourself a poem, and compose a list of everything you love about yourself.
49. Do five things that are silly or ridiculous to you, and see if you get any life epiphanies.
50. Spend the entire day off the internet (for your mental well-being). Do something old-fashioned with your hands and notice how you feel.
51. Do some soul searching. Reflect on who you are, what you want from life, and what brings you a sense of meaning and purpose.
52. Spend time journaling and reflecting on the past year. What was the #1 lesson you learned? Here are some brilliant journaling ideas.
What to Do if You Decide to (or Have to) Spend Christmas With Others
Sometimes, we dearly want to spend Christmas alone, but it’s just not possible. That’s the way life is presenting itself right now. What do we do?
Although this article is aimed at those who have undergone a spiritual awakening and are struggling with Christmas, these tips can help anyone at any stage of their life journey:
- Take care of your stress levels. Relax before the event, e.g., ensure that you’re grounded, well-rested, and organized.
- Be present with your inner child. Expanding the above point, be aware that holidays like Christmas can trigger old patterns of stress and fear within us. These patterns come from the wounded inner child – and we all, more or less, have one. So give yourself a lot of validation, love, and support. You deserve it and need it. See our inner child article for more guidance.
- Set boundaries and limits. For example, make it known how long you can be at the celebration/gathering before you need to go to ____________ You get to decide. The power is in your hands.
- If contributing to consumerism/climate change is an issue for you, think about giving more mindful gifts. Focus on sustainable and ethically produced items. Bamboo is a great choice and place to start as it’s widely accessible and is manufactured in a variety of ways (from coffee mugs to bed linen).
- Keep it simple. Focus on simplifying what you need to do. Stick to the essentials. Don’t be afraid of letting go of the tasks and Christmas habits you’ve always done simply because they’re familiar.
- Think about how you’d like to reclaim your holidays for next year. Let’s face it, Christmas can feel really arbitrary and pointless. Why not plan for how you’d like to make Christmas (or another celebration you choose) more intentional. Don’t be afraid to create a new holiday ritual for you and your family that feels authentic.
- Limit contact (as much as possible) with toxic family members. We all have *that* uncle, parent, mother-in-law, or extended family member who’s a pain in the ass. Be strategic and find ways of limiting your contact with them. Doing so will help you hold onto that little bit of extra sanity.
- Gratitude helps a lot. Yes, I know the situation might not be ideal for you. But there are much worse situations out there. In fact, science has proven that being grateful is a powerful way of remaining happy and calm. So no, you don’t need to be thankful for your sibling’s self-entitled or snarky behavior, but you can be grateful that they have raised beautiful children that bring joy to the world.
***
Christmas is a celebration that is imposed on us by society. We often feel the need to play by its unspoken rules, and thus we experience a loss of our self-sovereignty. But with mindfulness, self-compassion, and a little effort, it can become a source of empowerment.
Enjoy, and take care of yourself!
So tell me, what is your story? Are you spending Christmas alone out of choice … or perhaps by circumstance? Maybe you are sharing Christmas with others but don’t want to. Share below to let others know that they’re in good company.
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Hi, such a great resource of fun ideas, thanks a lot! I have quite large family that is sort of working, but I just can’t stand meeting them all at once and I grew out of the family. Last year I stayed alone at my home where I study, I actually had about 5 days of just laying in bed, reading, watching all the Star Wars movies for the first time and also doing some homeworks and I must say it was the best Christmas so far :D Even though I seem to be extroverted from time to time and love meeting people whenever I can, I somehow found my inner introvert finally.
However, I wonder if there is some sort of “Christmas loner network”, to spend Christmas with bunch of total strangers would be awesome too. I think I will try to find something on Couchsurfing :-) And if nothing happens, I will try at least 3 of your ideas (we have 7 days of holiday, plenty time for more of them)!
You’re so right, what hypocrisy there is at Christmastime. People go to church and the minute they are out, they start criticizing and telling each other wrong.
I am about to leave from 4 days with my family, and I can’t wait, they’re sucking the energy out of me. All these egos fighting, nobody really listening to each other. I really tried to care and listen, but I can only do so for a limited period in these conditions.
Jesus said “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
This is so terrific! I think I will do these, a few each day, between now and New Years!
I love what you have written here. There are some great ideas. I love to spend time alone. I have a real psychological need for it. However Christmas is always a difficult time. I spend most Christmases alone since my family don’t like to spend time with each other. At first it was fun, but now ten years on its wearing a little thin! I think its a hard time for people that don’t have supportive or loving families as society tells us that we are obliged to spend time with them and spend loads of money etc. I decided this year that going abroad is the answer for me now. I’m taking myself on holiday next year somewhere hot where Christmas is not celebrated. Thanks for this lovely blog post :)
Im here because my best friend told me she loved me yesterday and I couldn’t say it back. Great timing eh? Now I lose a friend a lover, activity partner, confidante …during the darkest, coldest time of the year.
Got a hoot from the tips listed above. I don’t find them offensive to contemplate. Most of them I don’t take an interest in doing. As a loner since moving-out 23 years ago, I celebrate the Holidays in my own way. The only thing that disturbs me as I age is how loners get viewed around this time of year. Thanksgiving- being secular in terms of a Holiday- is the one that embraces inviting those not of your family to celebrate the day and the meaning of it. I am usually invited out of the fact that my family is many states away and I live alone. I get foggy notions of those with families viewing folks like me as ‘charity cases’ but it doesn’t rankle me too much. Christmas- on the other hand- is a time where families hole up and shut out the rest of the world. When I was younger this vaguely hurt me. Now, I just do what I wish to. I decorate my home, send a very limited amount of cards, do what I want to do, and plan a whopper meal for myself. I really do not care if I am invited anywhere by… Read more »
After working 5 yrs abroad finally i can spend it with family but sadly they no longer want me to be part of their xmas.i lost my job 3 mos ago due to my choice to find a better one.so the whole time i was here with them im the one taking care of most of the expenses.my sister was unemployed for so many yrs so im the one taking care of her and her baby also with mom and dad.but as of now im already on a tight budget i cannot give them their lavish xmas they got use to every year and because of this my mom argued with me and everyone is avoiding me.i cannot even eat the food my mom cooked.it is sad to know that even your own family will forget u once u cannot provide them that much anymore..im still staying with them coz i payed rent in advance for two mos and im no longer capable of finding my own place.but later before midnight i need to go out so i wont feel alone with them.its better i dont see them so im not gonna more sad.i cannot stay with friends coz they… Read more »
I moved back with my parents (elderly) – to be my dad’s carer – he has the onset of Alzheimer’s However, I will still be alone at Xmas because they go out to xmas dinner without me. I was sick one year when I was out with them and mum said it was ‘showing them up’ and yelled at me. I truly ‘was’ sick, and could not eat the meal. I tried some and ran to be sick. That was about 4 years ago – now the go out at xmas without me. It is ‘very’ hard to cope with the sad feelings of abandonment. I dread each xmas. Mum is teetotal, so there is no alcohol allowed in the house – can’t even have a mulled wine at the TV. There are no chocolates or mince pies, because mum says they are fattening. I asked my friend if I could join her for xmas – but she said she was having her new boyfriend to stay. A polite knock back. I wish that I could be positive about xmas – but I can’t.t’s never festive in this house. I quit smoking 3 years ago as mum moaned (she is… Read more »
One thing I would like to add to the above list, and I intend to at least try this on Christmas Day. In our rat-race society, It is not easy to just sit and do nothing; not even watch the TV. I was advised to do this by someone who is a devout Christian. However, you don’t have to be a Christian to practice this technique, it is something we can all do if we have the will and patience, but it’s not easy to begin with. The trick is to sit -just to sit. And WAIT. Wait for what I wonder? The ‘Divine Presence’ that may be there, waiting to come through? The Divine may be waiting to reveal him/her/itself to us if we only sit and wait in expectation and wonder. But there are no guarantees! I was advised to do this for several hours at a time; not an easy thing to do if you are not accustomed to sitting and waiting for long periods, so I intend to start off small, maybe a few minutes to begin with and build it up over time. I won’t make a new year resolution to do this, because resolutions… Read more »
In reply to Janette Heffernan- I agree that the person who wrote this ‘article’ has apparently no experience of spending Christmas alone and arguably no interest in empathising with those who do; filling the house with xmas lights and then turning the lights off and sitting amongst the mess, alone and in the literal dark, is paramount to inviting depression over for xmas dinner and then taking suggestions from it as to what party games you both might play – suicide? drink till you drop? sigh down the line at a samaritans volunteer? The list goes on. That said, to jump from that to ‘the fault lies not with the isolated person but with the friends and neighbours who think it is OK to celebrate without a thought of what Xmas means’ is a bit of a, well…absurd. Bit ironic, no? I mean, really ask yourself a few questions, like- What fault exactly? And what Christmas means to whom? And who says they ain’t thinking of others? How do you know what anyone else is thinking? When did THINKING become synonymous with ACTING? And, perhaps, is that what Christmas means to you – sitting alone, attributing blame upon your so-called… Read more »