Beneath the social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: an impulsive, wounded, sad, or isolated part that we generally try to ignore. The Shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life.
โ C. Zweig & S. Wolf
If you’re truly honest about growing, changing, and living life to the fullest, you will, at some point, come across many parts of yourself that you’ll find difficultย โ if not completely disturbing โ to accept.
These ugly and frightening parts of ourselves are elements of the Shadow Self: the darker side of our nature.
In the domain of psychology, renowned psychologist Carl Jung devoted a lot of thought to this problem of the “Shadow Self,” being deeply invested in the research of ancient esoteric knowledge and spiritual scriptures to not only treat the mind of man but his Soul as well.
In response to his serious preoccupation, Jung created the Archetypes model, a concept wherein he believed our unconscious minds are fragmented or structured into different “selves.”
These selves attempt to organize how we experience different emotions, situations, and challenges in life. Two of Jung’s major Archetypes are the Persona and the Shadow Self.
Table of Contents
- The Birth of the Shadow Self
- Repression of the Shadow Self
- How Spirituality and Religions Contribute to the Repression of the Shadow
- The Importance of Integration (vs. Spiritual Bypassing)
- The Right and Left-Handed Paths
- 13 Types of Shadow Selves
- Embracing the Shadow Self
- 3 Illuminative Ways to Encounter Your Shadow Self
The Birth of the Shadow Self
It is a frightening thought that man also has a shadow side to him, consisting not just of little weaknesses and foibles, but of a positively demonic dynamism. The individual seldom knows anything of this; to him, as an individual, it is incredible that he should ever in any circumstances go beyond himself. But let these harmless creatures form a mass, and there emerges a raging monster.
โย Carl Jung, “On the Psychology of the Unconscious“
So what exactly are the “Persona” and “Shadow Self”? And how do they relate to the journeys of soul searching, inner growth, and psychospiritual evolution that most of us find ourselves on at some point in life as spiritual wanderers? I’ll explore below:
i) What is the Persona?
The Persona, according to Jung, defines who we would like to be and how we wish to be seen by the world. The word “persona” is derived from a Latin word that literally means “mask,” however in this instance, the word can be applied metaphorically, representing all of the different social masks that we wear among different groups of people and situations.
ii) What is the Shadow Self?
On the other hand, the Shadow Self is a place within all of us that dwells within the unconscious mind and is composed of repressed ideas, instincts, impulses, weaknesses, desires, perversions, and embarrassing fears. This part is often described as the darker side of the psyche, representing wildness, chaos, and the unknown. Jung believed that this latent energy is present in all of us, in many instances forming a strong source of creative energy.
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How does the Shadow Self form, you might wonder?
We are all born pure, like blank canvases. But at some point during our childhood development, we learn knowledge that teaches us to separate things into good and evil. The moment we eat from this dualistic “tree of knowledge,” our shadows are born, and we begin to divide ourselves into multiple parts.
Then, in our cultural socialization process, we begin to sort out those traits within us that are acceptable to society (the Persona) and those that are unacceptable (which are later hidden away โ the Shadow).
This is where the Persona and Shadow Self go hand-in-hand: the Persona is the lovable face we present to the world, while the Shadow is the face we hide from the world.
Once our limited but socially acceptable Personas was born, so too were our wild but damnable Shadows โ both are inseparable, and both mutually arise.
As Jung explained:
What we call civilized consciousness has steadily separated itself from the basic instincts. But these instincts have not disappeared. They have merely lost their contact with our consciousness and are thus forced to assert themselves in an indirect fashion. This may be by means of physical symptoms in the case of a neurosis, or by means of incidents of various kinds, or by unaccountable moods, unexpected forgetfulness, or mistakes in speech… modern man protects himself against seeing his own split state by a system of compartments. Certain areas of outer life and of his own behavior are kept, as it were, in separate drawers and are never confronted with one another.
Thus, the dark shadow traits that we all possess accumulate in the corners of our unconscious minds, never becoming adequately integrated into our conscious minds because we never see our split state in the first place (due to our psychological defense mechanisms like denial, avoidance, and repression). And so we continue accumulating these dark fears, desires, and motivations.
This lack of awareness of the Shadow Selfย โ and the disconnection from our true Whole Self โ can be dangerous.
One issue I often come across in people is the tendency to allow the Shadow Self to accumulate for so long (usually due to a lack of education and psychological awareness), that it erupts and overpowers the person through depression, a Dark Night of the Soul, or unconscious accidents that end up manifesting their inner demons.
Indeed, the denial and avoidance of the Shadow can lead to significant physical, emotional, psychological, and interpersonal consequences that last for a long time โ that’s why taking in as much as you can from this article will be beneficial and a great place to start (or continue) your Shadow Work.
Repression of the Shadow Self
It’s understandable that the process of becoming civilized requires us to repress aspects of ourselves that do not fit in with the structured ideal of our society.
However, this internal repression comes at a great cost to us. We are born whole and complete, but we slowly learn to live fractioned lives, accepting some parts of our nature but rejecting and ignoring other parts.
A short holiday to a different part of the world will show you how arbitrary some of these “good/bad” divisions are (that create the Shadow Self).
In the West, for example, eye contact is perceived as confident and engaging, whereas in Japan, it’s perceived as arrogant and rude. In the Middle East, burping after a meal is a sign of pleasure, yet anywhere else in the world, it’s seen as vulgar and uncouth. And in America, TV shows depicting violent murders are considered more acceptable than showing nudity or sexual acts, whereas in Europe, it’s the complete opposite. These are just a few examples.
Basically, the repression of our negative traits or emotions in society is one of the biggest barriers to any person’s capacity to develop self-love and live authentically. How can you completely and wholeheartedly accept who you are if there are sides of yourself that you’re too afraid to explore?
Don’t get me wrong, the idea of the “Shadow Self” isn’t just a psychological concept. Many ancient Shamanic teachings describe the journey of experiencing some kind of serious illness, spiritual death or dismemberment by entering into one’s inner darkness (or Shadow Self), and then being reborn with healing capacities and wisdom that could support the tribe.
i) How Spirituality and Religions Contribute to the Repression of the Shadow
So, apart from society’s ideas of acceptable and non-acceptable behavior, what else causes such great repression of the Shadow Self? In truth, a lot of this internal repression actually comes from the endless cornucopia of “feel good” motivational teachings out there.
If you take a moment to notice, you’ll see that a lot of modern spiritual and religious work revolves around moving toward the “light,” accepting the “light,” and seeking the “light.” Yet by doing so, we ignore the entirety of what it is to be human!
In fact, many of the modern mainstream spiritual and new-age teachings out there provide an escape for those who don’t want to be responsible for the entirety of themselves and their lives.
Understandably the “light” energies are usually represented with noble values such as love, peace, joy, harmony, and compassion. Many spiritual and religious movements completely ignore or condemn darker elements such as anger, vengeance, control, fear, shame, competitiveness, jealousy, and lust.
Because these darker characteristics are associated with negativity or “evil,” they’re avoided out of fear and buried even deeper within us. But this is a tragic mistake with dire consequences.
The more our darkness is avoided, the more it grows within us, waiting like a volcano to gush out at any unexpected moment.
ii) The Importance of Integration (vs. Spiritual Bypassing)
Interestingly, many seekers of spiritual growth think that somehow all of the negative qualities within themselves will eventually be transcended as they “awaken to their Higher Selves,” “work through their karma,” or “become more enlightened.”
Yet, from my own experience, this is a form of spiritual bypassing: using spirituality to avoid everything uncomfortable within us instead of facing it with honesty and courage.
Furthermore, actually turning toward your Shadow Self helps you to embrace these disconnected parts of yourself, creating more psychological and spiritual balance (wholeness). On the other hand, denying your darkness only creates chaos and disharmony.
The keyword here is “integration,” which comes from the Latin word integratus, meaning to make whole.
To integrate an inner quality is to take ownership and responsibility for it rather than reject or deny it. The benefits are many: calmness, sanity, healing, greater compassion, inner peace, understanding, and wholeness are all to be found within the all-embracing arms of integration.
On the other hand, the opposite of integration is to “disintegrate”ย โ or to become fragmented and divided into pieces.
A person who “breaks down” or “falls apart,” for instance, is someone who has been unable to handle stress and who has ignored their mental and emotional well-being to such a large degree that their suppressed pain eventually explodes into awareness with a vengeance.
In reality, a fragmented person can never handle adversity because they have no whole center, and they’re always handling life from the corners of their personality parts. This is why integration is so essential: it helps us to access our inner wholeness again and respond to life rather than react.
The Right and Left-Handed Paths
In esoteric branches of Hinduism such as Tantraย or Western Esoteric occult teachings, they have what is called Right and Left-handed paths towards experiencing Oneness, Spiritual Enlightenment, or the Higher Self.
Throughout history, the left has always been associated with dark, radical or sinister elements. Even the etymology of the word “sinister” means “from the left side.”
Furthermore, in Muslim, Chinese, Judeo-Christian, and even Hindu religions, the left hand is associated with being the unclean side, which is most likely why some of these cultures use it to wipe their … behinds!
These days, the “right-handed path” is what most of us understand to be the pursuit of positive things such as overcoming personal flaws and limitations, purifying our sins, and anything else that helps us connect to our “higher selves.”
The left-handed path, however, is associated with parts within us that are typically fought against, rejected, denied, feared, and thus such a path becomes our biggest inner hindrance, but at the same time, the key to our liberation.
The truth is that we have both hands, not just one, and we must learn to use them in a balanced way if we seek to live a balanced life.
The right-handed path seeks to improve the personal self and overcome its flaws, but the left-handed path seeks to investigate and face the shadows in its pursuit of nondualistic Wholeness.
Just as we see being represented in the ancient symbol of the Yin and Yang, when you balance both opposites, the dichotomy of right and left will disappear: both are interdependent, flow together, and are mutually arising.
Personally, I like to think that first, there was darkness. Unlike light, darkness is infinite. Under every rock, you will find darkness, but light and darkness need each other to come into existence. Unless you learn to first embrace that darkness within yourself, you can never pursue the Light in a balanced way.
Many right-handed new age teachings heavily lean toward cultivating the “higher chakras” (third eye chakra, heart chakra, etc.) and avoiding the lower ones.
However, in the long term, this approach won’t be very helpful. Unless the foundation of your home is solid and stable, no matter how beautifully you decorate and work on the house itself, sooner or later your house will collapse and crumble down.
13 Types of Shadow Selves
All of us carry demons inside. Sometimes, we catch fleeting glimpses of them, sometimes we witness them in full frontal chaos, but for the most part, we ignore and bury their existence either out of fear, guilt or pure shame. Discovering our demons or shadows is a vital part of inner work as spiritual wanderers.
Our inner shadows come in many different shapes and varieties. While some are more ferocious than others, others don’t really seem to be all that monstrous at all โ until we reap the devilish consequences later on in our lives.
Below I have categorized and ‘cataloged’ thirteen different shadows that you might meet on your inner path. Some overlap with each other, and many are interconnected, meaning that it’s typical to possess many of these shadows and more!
Please note: the shadows listed below are by no means exhaustive or comprehensively cataloged โ they are simply provided to help you identify any of your own shadow qualities or to create a “field guide” of your own.
Also, not all of the characteristics listed below are necessarily always “bad” and, in fact, can be quite helpful in some situations. Being lustful, for example, can help to add fire to your relationship.
Displaying emotional detachment can be beneficial while performing a major surgery. And being paranoid can help you safely parent an unruly child. With that said, try to notice which shadows spark recognition within you and make a note of them!
1.ย The Egotistical Shadow
Root cause: primal fear of “not being good enough,” not existing, being nobody
This shadow displays the following characteristics: arrogance, egocentricity, pompousness, inconsiderateness, self-indulgence, narcissism, excessive pride.
2.ย The Neurotic Shadow
Root cause: fear of life, others, and self; desire to regain control
This shadow displays the following characteristics: paranoia, obsessiveness, suspiciousness, finicky, demanding, masochistic, compulsive behavior.
3.ย The Untrustworthy Shadow
Root cause: fear of life in general
This shadow displays the following characteristics: secretive, impulsive, frivolous, irresponsible, deceitful, unreliable.
4.ย The Emotionally Unstable Shadow
Root cause: basic feeling of being “unlovable” and powerless; reaction to unresolved emotional pain
This shadow displays the following characteristics: moody, melodramatic, manipulative, weepy, overemotional, impulsive, changeable.
5.ย The Controlling Shadow
Root cause: basic mistrust of life, feelings of abandonment and “not being good enough
This shadow displays the following characteristics: suspicious, jealous, possessive, bossy, obsessive.
6.ย The Cynical Shadow
Root cause: protection against feeling too vulnerable
This shadow displays the following characteristics: negative, overcritical, patronizing, resentful, cantankerous.
7.ย The Wrathful Shadow
Root cause: fear of others, mistrust of life, closed heart
This shadow displays the following characteristics: ruthless, vengeful, bitchy, quick-tempered, quarrelsome.
8.ย The Rigid Shadow
Root cause: fear and rejection of the unknown, chaos, and ego death
This shadow displays the following characteristics: uptight, intolerant, racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, obstinate, uncompromising, inflexible, narrow-minded.
9.ย The Superficial Shadow
Root cause: distrust of life, others, and self
This person displays the following characteristics: glib, cunning, inconsistent, sly, crafty.
10.ย The Cold Shadow
Root cause: buried grief, fear, and shame (numbness is a defense)
This shadow displays the following characteristics: emotionally detached, distant, indifferent, uncaring, unexcited.
11.ย The Perverted Shadow
Root cause: repressed sexual energy, possible unresolved childhood wounds
This shadow displays the following characteristics: sadistic, lustful, depraved, corrupt.
12.ย The Cowardly Shadow
Root cause: fear, disbelief in self
This shadow displays the following characteristics: weak-willed, timid, fearful.
13.ย The Naive Shadow
Root cause: refusal to grow up, lack of individuated ego
This shadow displays the following characteristics: puerile, petty, immature, illogical, simpleminded, vacuous.
How many of these inner shadows can you relate to? Also, keep in mind that this list only explores the dark side of the shadow, not the light side (where the positive repressed qualities of our nature are buried!).
Embracing the Shadow Self
The secret is out: all of us, no exceptions, have qualities we won’t let anyone see, including ourselves โ our Shadow. If we face up to our dark side, our life can be energized. If not, there is the devil to pay. This is one of life’s most urgent projects.ย
โ Larry Dossey (Healing Words)
Our journey of Self-Realization is a bit like Dante’s Inferno.
Before making our way out of “hell,” we must walk through the depths of our inner darkness.
Many religions symbolize this reality with archetypal stories. Two famous examples include the case of Jesus, who had to face Satan in the desert, and Buddha’s encounter with Mara (the Buddhist Satan) before his spiritual awakening.
When I write about embracing or integrating your Shadow Self, I don’t mean to indulge in any desire that arises within you.
Indulging your anger, for instance, will simply result in more anger. By embracing your inner darkness, I mean that it’s necessary for you to “accept” it.
Accepting your darkness will allow you to take responsibility for yourself, and once you truly acknowledge any one of these dark traits instead of avoiding them, suddenly, they will stop having control over you.
Honesty, Compassion, and Courage Are Crucial
By being honest with ourselves and compassionately accepting our shadow elements, it frees us up to truly witness the uncharted areas of our minds, allowing us to see that we are not these elements, but simply possess thoughts, feelings, and drives that come and go like clouds in the sky.
To deeply experience self-love and wholeness, we must learn to honestly face our Shadow Selves with kindness, and voyage into the dark murky waters of the unknown courageously. Otherwise, every time we condemn other people for their shadow traits, we’re, in essence, condemning our own hypocritical selves in the process.
You cannot simply go “beyond hatred” if you don’t first honestly admit to yourself that you do, in fact, possess hateful feelings!
A whole and balanced self is a reconciliation of all parts, an inner unification. And for this unification, we need the healing balm of self-compassion, the lamp of honesty, and the spirit of courage.
Inner unification is not an indulgence of the darker parts of our natures but an acceptance and direct experience of them in the light of mindful awareness and deep honesty.
This practice is the entire opposite of many self-denying traditional spiritual methods of subduing, denying, or ascetically disciplining the self. To be authentic and live liberated lives, we have to face and embrace all parts of our inner selves.
Yes, There Are Empowering Qualities Hidden in the Shadow
It’s astounding to realize that often theย mundaneย and sedated characteristics in people are the ones that areย socially acceptable, and the wild and “primitive” traits within us tend to get outlawed to our Shadowlands.
However, at the same time, many creative, unique, innovative, and unique qualities within us also get confined within the Shadow because they’re not socially acceptable.
Exploring your darkness isn’t always about meeting up with disturbed and grotesque monsters โ in fact, it often involves coming across delightful buried gems as well!
In fact, you’ll likely be surprised by the endless array of creative and interesting things you’ll find that have been secretly buried away within you for years.
Qualities such as artistic gifts, humor, playfulness, courage, ambition, confidence, conviction, sensuality, and even empathy can be buried in the shadow (or what Jung referred to as the ‘Golden Shadow’).
To accept and embrace your Shadow Self is to become Whole again and thus taste a glimpse of what authentic “holiness” feels like โ and that involves embracing both light and dark qualities within by recognizing that you possess both, but neither ultimately define you.
You Are Not Your Shadow
This leads me to the final part of learning how to embrace your Shadow Self, and that is quite simply that you are not your Shadow!
When many people begin Shadow Work, there is a great seriousness that (understandably and appropriately) enshrouds their path. And while it’s necessary to take this work seriously, as our buried shadows can and will cause immense pain if left unexamined, Shadow Work eventually becomes something of a playful pantomime if approached in a healthy way.
What do I mean by “playful pantomime”? Well, essentially, when we realize, through spiritual practices such as meditation, that we are not our thoughts (because they come and go spontaneously), we see the true nature of our Shadows: they don’t define us! Instead, it’s as if we’re watching a play at the theater with characters disguised as monsters on a stage.
While we must absolutely take responsibility for any darkness metaphorically “swept under the rug” of our psyches, we don’t need to identify with or attach ourselves to the content of our Shadows.
Yes, we’re responsible for doing our own Shadow Work, but we’re not to blame for having a shadow in the first place! After all, it’s not like we sat there as a young child scheming up how to develop a manipulative and emotionally fragile shadow as an adult, was it? We didn’t choose to develop a shadow, that’s just how life presented itself within us in this dualistic human realm.
So, the final piece in learning how to embrace your Shadow Self is to not take it so personally.
Recognize that there are qualities of resentment, greed, neurosis, and so forth within you, meet them with acceptance and compassion, but know that these qualities don’t define you. See these shadows as dark clouds in the Great Sky that is who you truly are โ no more, no less. Non-attachment is key.
Two forms of meditation that might be helpful in assisting your ability to disidentify from your shadows, integrate, and let them go, are vipassana and noting meditation where you label the thoughts in your mind and learn to rest in conscious awareness.
3 Illuminative Ways to Encounter Your Shadow Self
I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole.ย
โ Carl Jung
Now that we’ve learned how to embrace your Shadow Self, how do we actually encounter this hidden part of us?
You can start by taking our free Shadow Self Test, or alternatively, you can also try our Shadow Archetype Test.
Once you’re aware of how big your shadow is and what type of shadow you have, there are several different ways to get to know and explore your Shadow further. I explore some simple Shadow Work practices below.
If you’d like to go deeper after reading the list below, I recommend our book Mindful Shadow Work as a wonderful place to start!
1. Draw or Paint
Art is the highest form of self-expression, and it’s also a great way to allow your Shadow to manifest itself in a way you can understand.
In the field of psychology, one of the most effective ways of understanding and reorganizing the psyche is through art therapy which allows us to draw whatever conscious and unconscious feelings or thoughts are swirling around within us.
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Thankfully, you don’t necessarily need a therapist to do therapeutic art, and it’s a surprisingly easy, fun, and illuminating way of meeting and exploring your Shadow.
Simply get a blank piece of paper, find a quiet place, and turn your attention inward. You may like to ask your Shadow, “What do you want me to know right now?” or “How would you like to express yourself?” and then paint or draw whatever comes to mind. Even the strangest mental images or scenarios can hold a seed of wisdom, helping to reveal hidden feelings, thoughts, or memories.
Make sure you approach this activity non-judgmentally and with an open mind. When you fear judgment from yourself, you’ll be inhibited and won’t be able to benefit fully from this practice. So be gentle, self-compassionate, and receptive.
Allow whatever wants to come to the surface to freely arise, no matter how “messy” or “ugly” (remember that the goal isn’t to create a work of art here!). Remember that your Shadow is a partย of you, but it doesn’tย defineย you.
2. Write a Story or Journal
Goethe’s Faust is, in my opinion, one of the best works featuring the meeting of an Ego and its Shadow Self.
Faust is a story that details the life of a professor who becomes so separated and overwhelmed by his Shadow that he comes to the verge of suicide, only to realize that the redemption of the Ego is solely possible if the Shadow is redeemed at the same time.
Writing a story where you project your Shadow elements onto the characters is a great way to learn more about your inner darkness.
If stories aren’t your thing, try journaling or keeping a diary every day for a few weeks, where you record both good and bad emotions, thoughts, and habits. This practice will help to shine a light on the bright and darker elements of your nature. Reading through your journal entries can also help you recover the balance you need in your life and accept both light and dark emotions within you.
Some simple Shadow prompts to begin with are the following:
- If you could scream anything to the wind right now (that nobody would ever hear), what would you scream?
- Who or what negatively triggered you today? What part of yourself might you have unknowingly projected onto that same person or situation?
- What makes you feel insecure about yourself? How can you offer that wounded or scared part forgiveness, gentleness, and compassion?
- If there was any quality you could keep hidden forever about yourself, what would it be, and why?
- Who do you idolize or obsessively follow the story of online? What disowned qualities within yourself might you be projecting onto and seeing within that person?
These are just a few simple questions, but they can lead to some fascinating discoveries and insights about your Shadow and its toxic core beliefs!
(By the way, if you need more help journaling, we have a free guide on how to journal, and you can also check out more Shadow Work prompts in our 30+ Shadow Work Prompts article.)
3. Use the World as a Mirror (Projection Technique)
The Shadow describes the part of the psyche that an individual would rather not acknowledge.ย
โ John Elder
Projection is at the very heart and soul of the Shadow: it’s how the Shadow hides and protects itself.
Quite simply, we project the qualities of ourselves that we dislike onto others so that we don’t have to deal with them within ourselves.
Projection also helps us to avoid taking responsibility for ourselves and instead helps us to make others the culprits and scapegoats for our unresolved issues.
However, projection is actually a powerful Shadow Work tool that helps us explore our Shadow Selves when done deliberately and intentionally. When you approach other people and the world at large with mindfulness, you’ll be able to discover who and what you’ve project your Shadow onto (and why).
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What’s interesting about the Shadow is that we not only project our negative traits and elements onto others but our good ones as well. It’s as if we unconsciously refuse to embrace our noble elements because the Ego is afraid that these positive elements will change and upset our current personality structure.
So how do we practice the projection technique?
In a nutshell, use the world as a mirror. Observe what you secretly like or dislike in other people, entertainment outlets (e.g., social media, TV, and books), and situations.
For instance, current movies and television shows reflect our deep interest in the darker aspects of ourselves. Why else would we have such a fascination with this constant battle between good and evil forces? Superhero, fantasy, and action films depict the Heroes vs. Villains dichotomy, while we also fall in love with charming characters that embrace their dark sides, such as Dexter, The Joker, or Walter White (Breaking Bad).
Often our noblest Shadow traits are projected onto the people we like, admire, or fall in love with. The opposite is also true: the most defenseless of beings can become the carriers of our negative projected Shadow Self traits.
Children, for example, provide the perfect outlet for our anger, frustration, and other negative emotions. The smallest of accidents or naughty actions can be punished with disproportionate and destructive wrath. Pets, too, are unfortunately just as vulnerable. Projection, for many of us, is always easier than assimilation.
Ultimately, projection, no matter whether light or dark, is always something detrimental.
When you project, you not only burden another person with your darker elements or pressures of idolization, but you also avoid taking responsibility for your Shadow and lose the opportunity of finding a state of inner Wholeness.
So use the world as your mirror. Write down what you observe about yourself. Be open-minded and receptive. Show kindness toward yourself. Soon you’ll be on your way to reclaiming all parts of yourself and moving into a space of inner equilibrium and unity.
Final Words
To close, I want to emphasize again how crucial this work is:
Learning to face, explore, and embrace your Shadow Self is one of the most important and worthy commitments you could ever task yourself with on the spiritual journey and life in general. Period.
Imagine what our world would look like if more people were honest with themselves, reclaimed their projected Shadows and made peace with their neighbors, and rediscovered a deeper sense of inner peace and wholeness? Society would be a much more harmonious place.
So don’t discount the value and power of this work โ it has the potential to change the world, little by little.
You don’t need to turn yourself into a martyr either: you can have fun with Shadow Work, channel your discoveries into wisdom and creativity, uncover forgotten gifts, and find more inner freedom than you ever knew was possible.
Everyone benefits from this work.
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So keep going. Do it for yourself, your children, your grandchildren, and all future generations. Our world desperately needs this.
Want to learn more about the Shadow Self? I’d highly recommend checking out our articles on shadow work, best shadow work books, and the collective shadow (and bookmarking them!).
I hope this article has helped to open your eyes. What is your relationship like with your Shadow Self? I’d love to hear about your experiences below.
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My current way to do Shadow work is to use the down loaded free journal provided for ideas and attempt to include the nights of lucid dreaming which reflect my subconscious reaction (piecing together of certain inconsiderate events) in dream re๏ปฟ๏ปฟcreation format which seems all gobble de gook when first written at some ungodly hour early in the Morning. Read again later you can pick out a certain style of narrative reflecting frustration or fear release or negative approaches which have been replayed out correctly to ease the personal discomfort of the dreamer not dealing with them well at the time of inclusion into subconscious life. As the subconscious runs deep and can pick out the finest of details from years and years ago. Eg dreamt about a teacher from my Primary School days now long gone, but in the accuracy of the Subconscious was alive, with the image of her clear and well defined as the kindly Mothering sort of teacher I well remember as being kind to me.
The other Shadow work does not reveal like the journals can do, it clears out the debris which includes anxiety, fears, blocks, past guilt, lost emotional experiences and inter personal relationships that were supressed. This involves trusting your favourite online Hypnosis expert to talk you down in trance style into the subconscious/ sleep. Positive messages replace the tired worn out ones of early childhood and youth. And if replayed on a cycle of thirty days say every Morning or Evening will greatly assist in stopping fears anxieties and even early stages of depression to improve. Which aids in relaxation of the nervous system, and allows rest.
The third type of Shadow work is as Sol and Luna describe here. If you become fully aware of something stuck in your being which you are willing to change, then face up to it, topple the doubts and fears to reclaim the energies lost, You then gain a feeling of growth and reflection as you have face your inner demons and Won! ๏ปฟ๐๏ปฟ๏ปฟ๐ค๏ปฟ(Me and my shadow he he)
Thanks for sharing John, I like the variety of approaches you use as the shadow has a way of sneaking up on you when you stick just to one method :)
Yes, almost everything you say here rings true for me at this point in my life.
Thanks Linda for sharing, it sounds like an invitation to start exploring your shadow.
I have always been hesitant towards accepting spirituality and mysticism, because throughout my life Iโve seen many people getting hurt or cheated in the name of supernatural experiences. I was also hesitant to read this article but, you have done a very good work and I hope many people find this article and heal through it.
Also worth mentioning is that, this is the only decent article on shadow work that Iโve ever found on the internet.
Thank you Sid for the kind words. I think the inherit danger of ‘spirituality’ is that it has the word ‘spirit’ in it and this seems to be vague enough for many people to use and misuse it in all kinds of ways, especially when trying to sell you ideas about the supernatural.
If the shadows trying to get your attention, does it use impulses ?
Our shadow self can show itself in different ways, one of them can be our impulsive behavior.
Hello lone wolf,
My latest experience with my shadow self is really challenging to me. I would appreciate any help or advice that you have with this. What I struggle most to accept is my amoral/ insect part. In a shamanic journey I went to find a lost soul part. I came across a large butterfly that was a rejected part of me. I have found this part before on a journey but could not welcome or accept it so it fled again. This insect aspect of me I identify with being age three. Or rejected first at age three. It is neither good nor evil. It eats what it wants when it wants, moves or sleeps when it wants, thinks nothing of others needs, right or wrong, good or bad, duty, love, future, past are nothing to it. It is. It does. It exists in the present without words and without judgements. It feels perfectly alien to me. I know itโs not evil, but I canโt seem to accept it. To go through the world without considering others needs or feelings is really really hard for me to accept. If all people act like this the world would be an awful place to live. It is purely selfish but I know itโs not cruel. How do I accept this part?
I have had some success so far with integrating my shadow. Although I was raised Christian and have always admired Jesus and tried to love sinners as he does I find this to be impossible. I have managed an acceptance. Compassion I think is better and the next step and I sometimes have that. Love seems far beyond me, now at least. Some aspects I can accept more readily than others. Weakness, fear, being overly sensitive are not awful traits in me. I can accept these. I also know that I sometimes have strength and courage and calmness so am less afraid of these qualities. Anger has been harder to accept. When it arises in me I have accepted it. But I still hate experiencing anger. But, for the last year, I have managed to change and to go beyond this and chosen to actively express gratitude for my anger when it arises, even if it is out of proportion. I do this by focusing on it as a feeling that gives me vital information (boundaries violated) and that gives me energy sometimes when I really need it ( I once faought off muggers), and this has been revolutionary for me. My anger changes and Iโve felt alive and almost joyful. More. But this takes effort. My initial reaction to anger is to dislike and reject it. Before I embrace it. These are a few of my shadow experiences.
Thiank you for your detailed and insightful article.
Niamh
When facing โinner demonsโ & shadowy things, how do you protect yourself spiritually? Can that invite in other โdemonsโ/โevilโ? I agree with the concept of Shadow work & want to learn more. My angels pointed me to shadow work & led me here. My initial hesitation (Probably due to seeded beliefs) is that it feels a bit like playing with fire, but I would love to hear your thoughts to help me overcome that. Thanks -Kat
Thanks Kat for your interest in working with your shadow. I think you’ve hinted at your own answer with the ‘seeded beliefs’. Many people that come from certain religious backgrounds bring with them pre-existing ideas of what ‘demons’ means.
In the case of shadow work, they are not separate entities that will physically attack you. They are rather psychological parts of ourselves we haven’t fully accepted, which means there’s no need for ‘spiritual protection’ but it can be useful to do the work with external guidance to help ground us when we feel it gets a bit overwhelming (depending on the individuals inner baggage.)
I hope that helps.
Thank you
Is it possible that the shadow can reply back to you when you speak to him?
In some cases yes, it can present itself through visual imagery as different parts within us. Check out our internal family systems article.
Hi so this is going to be a long post and i would really love for you to respond as i’m very desperate. So it all began one and a half year ago when I realized (after a long period of solitude due to the fact that I am a student and the school was online due to to covid and a few dreams that I had that were definitely telling me to go inwards and face myself) that I was a very spiritually bypassed person that mainly used that to cope with my inner child wounds my self loathing and negative core beliefs and repressed emotions . I started spiritually bypassing after I discovered mindfullness ,all that self improvement that is taught by right wing guys on YouTube such as Jordan Peterson and pick up artists,fake nonduality and semen retention as it was a huge relief from the social anxiety and low self esteem that I was experiencing everywhere and the porn addiction that helped me cope with it and my sexual desires.(which was also due to my low self worth and inner child wounds ) In the time that I was spiritually bypassed, people pleaser and innauntentic and afraid of conflicts I also experienced a moment of oneness
and a very strong connection with my higher self and this also lead to me being more interested in spirituality than I was before(my neighbour is a Reiki practioner and I went to her when I was struggling with social anxiety). As I had this realization I felt my whole self collapsing (before that I think that I also went through a spiritual awakening as I felt a strong feeling in my whole being that it was time for me to advance to a new level and I was also questioning my old beliefs and in general I felt like I was stagnating in life). After this collapse I went through approximately a week or two in which a deep sense of grief to my old ways of being took hold of me. After that because I deep down felt that I was also going through a spiritual awakening I began searching for guidance and I found your website. In the moment I accepted that I was going through an awakening after reading one of your articles I had a moment of oneness which got me more interested in inner work. But there was a big downside to all of this:deep down I felt that I had to become an entirelly new person and build a new lifethat was more aggressive,more confident and paradoxically more vulnerable in touch with his emotions and sensible because I felt like the person that I was before was also very people pleasing addicted to validation but also very arrogant narcissistic and judgy and also very unattractive to girls due to the the way I acted in general because of my core beliefs and hurt inner child: shy, reserved afraid of showing any emotions and also the fact that I am generally a very introverted ,agreaballe and private person (infj personality if it helps you with anything) I began being obsessed with introspection, isolating myself from everyone,not allowing myself to let go of the emotions that arrised in me, trying to convince myself that I had nothing in common with any of my friends and people in general and that I needed to find new friends that were also awakened and never interact with anyone on a superficial level, never making any compromises with anyone as I thought it was extremely inauthentic anymore , not allowing myself to rest and feel any pleasure or positive emotion as I thought that if I let myself relax I will realize how extreme I was and not be motivated to pursue this path anymore and also always holding on to the anger that surfaced as it made me feel powerfull and many more. As I finally realized that I wasn’t actually interested in healing but in becoming a fantasy superman me that was an impossible combination between the creative ,artsy sensible expressive and extroverted type of guy (someone like harry styles or timothee chalomet if you know who I’m talking about they are the idols of our generation for girls plus the fact that I kinda of admire them a lot for who they are and what they stand for:compassion, healthy masculinity , tolerance etc) and a macho silent type of guy. By this point the first signs of burnout and low mentall health were showing.After I realized this as I was so far off and for aproximatelly 5 months in this process I just felt like I couldn’t motivate myself to stop myself from advancing in the direction that I was going so I just began to self destruct myself, drown myself and feeding of anger self pitty hate for society and the rest of the world in generall, sadness, self hate
overindulging in pornography masturbation and phone use doing nothing all day procrastinating for forever the moment in which I was going to change the direction in which I was going and that all I had to to in the moment in which I decided to change was to allow myself to feel good again . When I finally reached this point after a few months I realized that it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be I felt extremely anxious of letting myself feel good because I felt so sick to my stomach and still do of suffering and negative emotions while still being in a lot of pain and burned out that I feared I would just return to bypassing . I began feeling and I still do extremely hopeless and anxious about my future. By this point of course that i am completely disconnected from my higher self and still have a lot of healing to do im definitely going through a dark night of the soul but in the same time I feel sick to my stomach of suffering and like I just can’t tolerate pain anymore just listening for a few minutes to the voices in my head that are all negative full of worries and critic towards me and also the inner addict that keeps popping up and tempting me with bypassing everything exausts me or allowing myself to feel my emotions also exhausts me in a few minutes . I just don’t want to go back to bypassing but I just feel like I still have to process so many things that surfaced and tempted by it and at such a low point that the only solution feels repressing everything plus the fact that I’m also battling my addictions to porn and phone my heart feels totally emptied of love my self worth is to the ground. I just want to enjoy my life but the only solution for this would be to bypass everything inside me as it’s all so overwhelming and dragging me down all the time I contemplate suicide all the time I feel like I have not an ounce of positive something inside me .I talk to my parents about it but they don’t understand me plus the fact that it doesn’t really help as im always feeling inadequate because of their disaprovall . My shadow is overwhelming me all the time I just don’t know what to do to get better I just feel like the only solution is to bypass everything plus that I’m so sick to the stomach of pain and inner work that it would a lot of time to not feel like that anymore and that I can tolerate my pain without overwhelming and exhausting me plus a little bit of social anxiety and the fact that I don’t wanna go back to putting on a mask in front of others just to enjoy socializing in order to make myself feel better or get close to someone just to use them as support when I don’t have any interest in being long term friends with them . What should I do next?plus the fact that it still haunts me the fact that a few months ago I met for a few minutes in the metro a girl that was definitely part of my soul family. I also keep seeing angel numbers all the time .
Josh
Hey man, Iโm replying to your comment because hopefully I can offer something of value to you, as I read your post, and Iโm kinda worried about you, especially because you are obviously a young man, and as a former teacher Iโm well aware the your brain is not fully developed, it wonโt be until about 27 and even then, you will develop/learn/grow the rest of your life. But for next few years you will be more impulsive, and trust me, if you kill yourself, your Not going to be able to look back, and realize how silly you were at that age, and how true the old sayingโฆโyouth is wasted on the youngโ. So hang on there kid, yourโre well on your way to being a very well rounded adult. Trust me bro, you are already ahead of most people, because at least you have the ability to self-reflect and that makes you well on your way to a productive member of the collective consciousness. First things first, stay the hell away from right wing crazy masculinity con men. Omg, dude wow, stick with harry styles as a role modelโฆand I say that kinda light hardly, because obviously there is only one hairy styles, and heโs a heโs a literal pop/rock star, bi-sexual, but I can guarantee you he is the exact opposite of those loser YouTube weirdo scum bags. Girls and I guess some boys too, have and will come very easily for him, just like they have his whole life. Theyโve come east for me my whole life too, and trust me, itโs doesnโt make life any easier, in fact it actually can make you feel incredibly alone, it make you feelโฆidk man, itโs hard to explain, but there is a certain type of lonieness thatโs come from everyone thinking you it so easy in life, And the best example I can give is this. My friend Elle, was the most beautiful girl, wealthy family, a brilliant musician, pianist, and we really were close because we just kinda got eachotherโฆI think she was 24 when she hung herself in bathroom one night, fucking Chris Cornell style. I walked in the bathroom that morning, and I thought she fucking with meโฆbutโฆnope. Now, just writing this causes me severe anxiety. But thatโs ok, because weโre all connected, sheโs as present now, just as we all are, she exist because she is of part me, and the pain and my heightened anxiety, thatโs not a bad thing, itโs beautiful, it reminds Iโm alive, that consciousness is the universe creating order out of chaos, becoming more complex and self-aware. One of the last moments I had with my dear friend, and I call her friend, not my girlfriend or FWB, because our sexual relationship was not a big deal to us, and while does feel odd/weird explaining that too you, itโs kinda the whole point of telling you this, I believe, you are overthinking The whole Porn addiction and lack of sex thing. I can say this because, dude I withdrew from everyone, I stopped all intimacy all affection, all sex for a long period of time. And it fucked me, up kinda. But something happens to you when you find one of your closest friends, who just the night before, had taken MDMA with me, and few other drugs, probably oxyโs and adderal, couple drinks, and played me some Beatles and John Lennon songs on her piano, and very intense and intimate moments we sharedโฆkind of a normal summer night out the lake house, our other friends had gone home, but it was different becauseโฆ.something was different in her, the last song she ever played was, โgodโ a Lennon song, I just remember watching her, and thinking, thatโs what life is about, that is fucking the beautiful thing Iโd heard, witnessed, experienced, and I had tears running down face because the emotion and empathy and pain in her voice, her presenceโฆand it made us really close afterwards, and I opened to her that I needed something like that, like I was so just tired of putting on an act for everybody, like my life fucking life was all keeping up this โeverything is great โ persona, one that I had perfected over years of never wanting anyone to find out I was loney, and had no ability to be vulnerable to anyone, but it I wanted to beโฆ.and you know she she looked at she, with this straight face, โpeople realize how difficult is to be US, putting up these Fucking peasants everyday, with there envy and jealousy and there hateful smirks.โ Now, I have to admit, Iโm incredibly selfish and narcissistic, Iโm writing this for myself, because it makes feel good, it makes feel like โfuck everybodyโ, all this like being hard on myself, trying to be vulnerable, this guilt bullshit, god it feels good to remember that girl, and I have a picture of her from that night, she has the look on her face that, glaring me at me, as I took it. I think if you seen of picture, my ramblings here might make a lot more sense. Shit, no filters or shit we have today to make everyone look good, she just ridiculously gorgeous, and she looks like bitch everโฆ.and she was artist, so she quiet and reserved, and people definitely didnโt like her, but was never rude or mean to anybody, but when she said to me that thing about the peasants, but she got that out her, itโs it like it got something out of her system, because I knew for like 6/7 years and we had hooking for years in the summers, I live up in northern Michigan, on torch lake and she from Chicago but her family had summer house next door, so I didnโt her too often, but we had hooking up for years, but that night was different, and we really connected on this different level. And it changed my life, she didnโt leave nothing, fucking crazy. But that song God, by John Lennon thatโs like her goodbye letter. You probably never heard it before, there s line in there that saysโฆ.โgod is a concept, on which we measure our painโฆthe dream is overโฆbut anyways, my point is, donโt kill yourself. Now hereโs the thing about girls, your young still, I had friends man, that they normal guys, not ugly or anything but they didnโt have any game really, but really the shit was just there in there headโฆ.sometimes you can too caught in your head, especially when your young, but if you put you put yourself out there, and HONEST, if your nervous, or feel awkward, itโs more than ok to just tell them that, if your like at bar or something, and I know weโve been conditioned to never show your insecurities or never let them see you sweat, but man, theyโre girls, they way perceptive, and trust me, a little honesty can do a long ways, and get obsessed with only wanting some super hot girl, be realistic man. But obviously donโt like limit yourself, I mean you seem like pretty thoughtful, self-reflective, intelligent young man, youโll be fine. And man, sometimes you just just need to take some drugs, like some uppers, or MDMA or molly whatever you want it call it. Smoking weed, I personally think itโs shity drug if you want meet girls. Alcohol too, too sloppy. And there no such thing as addicted to porn, youโre freaking at sexual sex peak, you need to what you got do. But please, donโt ever pay attention to right wing losers, Omg, those creepy AF, it sounds you need and a want a healthy relationship, you get that by putting yourself out there, taking a chance/risk and then youโll meet a girl, your young , you probably lots of relationships, or maybe youโll just meet the one, some my friends only been with the one girlโฆor get an escort, fuck it, donโt limit yourself to society norms, sometimes you got push the envelope. But yeah, isolation is not healthy at all, and can fuck within your head badly. Learn play the guitar, or drums or synth. Music will help you connect not only with other people but yourself as well. Hang in buddy, if life was easy, it would be boring and pointless. I mean at that loser Trumpโฆheโs an insecure miserable little bitch, heโs pathetic. I mean, now if your a MAGA guy, then I guess I just wasted 15 mins of my time, .
Iโm 53 and have only just (8 mos. ago) found out about spirituality. But I have always known, but now I truly know that I knew. Before when I knew, I just knew in my soul there was more, and Ive always looked for it. I guess I found it when I was ready to. That was just some background, now for the real reason Iโm leaving a comment.
Tonight was the first time I clicked on and read anything about shadow self and I had some clarity come through. First, before clarity, I was not frightened I was not in any way disgusted by what my shadow self might be made of, I felt sad, lonely, heartbroken and pain for her.
I take Prozac daily for about 5 years now. And I could have been doing commercial for them, I was a big advocate. I thought I should have been on Prozac for my life, at least since I was 13 or 14. I would have had an easier go at some stuff, less trouble. I still felt like the same person on Prozac, but calmer, and my reactions to things were more acceptable and that made my life easier. On 01/03/2022 I saw my Dr. we decided to switch my meds, because I was have extra panic attacks. On 01/04/2022 I tested positive for COVID, and it hit me hard and fast, I was out of it for about 10 days. I had my old prescription and just kept taking them, but I ran out. I must have not taken one for 3 days maybe before I got the new medicine and started taking it. My โfriendโ (he is the one who pointed me to spirituality) and I had a disagreement (we have had many) and he said stuff that triggered me and shit got real, and quick. Chaos, ensued, he was relatively calm, I was not. At one point when I was so close to him and screaming lord only knows, he said โitโs not even you, hello, who are you?โ I was in there, I heard his words and I was confused, like maybe he was a bit coo coo from me losing it. I hadnโt acted like that since 2019, and then 2 yrs before that. This one and the 2019 incidents were mild, compared to BP = before Prozac. That night he stayed because (idk, maybe he wasnโt thinking about himself) he helped me level out, it took 3-4 hours maybe, we talked and during that talk he was the one who said something about my medicine. And I knew the truth, I had been without and then on a new pill, and that is why I lost it. Anyways I called the next day got my old Prozac back and some klonopin, fast acting calm my shit down pill. It took about 4 days before I felt even again, and all has been fine since then.
I read about the shadow self today and when the clarity hit me, I felt even worse for her, my shadow, because I put her there, I didnโt help her at all, I didnโt even know that she was not part of me, I didnโt know she was from me pushing my bad energy down. I had trauma, multiple traumas, multiple trauma givers. And my entire life I had lived with her, she was never pushed away from me (with knowing now, maybe there was a part of her in the shadows, but it was not a high percentage of her) because the majority of her was with me, she was me. And I knew her, and mostly I was good with her, when people would say anything about me getting help or whatever, I said โthis is me, you ok with that great, if not goodbyeโ. I knew who she was, I knew how she became, and I thought that for all the shit in my past, having a bitchy/angry/loud/mean/evil side of me, attached to who I still am today, happy/energetic/lovable/kind/rainbows&flowers other side of me was amazing. And while she was with me always, she wasnโt always mean or angry. I thought I had a healthy balance on my past trauma and my trauma response (her). I even thought as I grew older that I was taking full accountability for my negative actions, and not blaming my behavior on my trauma, I knew that only I get to choose how I deal with my life and any bad shit in it. That as an adult, I was in control, and would not use excuses, and I didnโt. At 25 I meet my 2nd husband, I stayed for 5 years, and it changed me and her, it was a shock and surprise that this could happen, especially to me. It was a dark and very bleak 5 years. But I woke up, better late then never, and she was still with me, she had stayed with me for those 5 years. But it changed us both, I still didnโt send her away, why didnโt I get help? Why didnt I know to get help? I think things happened that I canโt remember, I do remember some, but even those pieces are missing. My life took a turn and blah blah blah. I didnโt even get Prozac for a mental reason, it was because I couldnโt take estrogen. I didnโt even know I was going to send her away, but I did send her away. And I was calmer, and relaxed and my life wasnโt as hard, but I swear I didnโt know what I was actually doing, I thought she was with me, just quiet for once in 40 years. And she was there, is there. But I was/am holding my hand over her mouth, she wasnโt quiet, I forced her to be quiet.
I donโt know the extinct of damage that was caused to her (and I think she added some weight, from the other her that I must have forced down there, before I stopped). But I am ready to go find her, I can feel her now, (or maybe woohoo) and bring her back with me so she can live and find joy in this life. And Iโm gonna help heal her/me, and Iโm gonna love me, because I deserve it. And all of me will be together to go on with this spiritual adventure Iโve started. Thatโs it, sorry it was so long, I have words a bunch of them.